One tip I consistently recommend for advocating for your mental health needs in the workplace is to frame your request around effectiveness rather than emotion. Many people hesitate to speak up because they fear being judged, dismissed, or seen as incapable. What I've learned—both personally and through clinical work—is that workplace conversations often go more smoothly when mental health needs are translated into functional language. Instead of saying, "I'm really anxious and overwhelmed," you might say, "I've noticed my focus and decision-making improve when I have clearer priorities or fewer interruptions. I'd like to talk about a small adjustment that could help me stay effective." This approach keeps the discussion practical while still honoring what you need.

I came to understand this during a time when I was pushing through chronic stress without naming it. I knew something wasn't sustainable, but I was afraid that speaking up would reflect poorly on me. Shifting the conversation toward productivity, quality of work, and long-term sustainability made it feel safer and more professional. It also helped the other person respond with problem-solving rather than defensiveness or discomfort.

For someone who feels hesitant to speak up, my advice is to start small and specific. You don't need to disclose personal details, a diagnosis, or your entire emotional experience. Identify one clear challenge and one reasonable request—such as flexible start times, protected focus time, clearer deadlines, or more regular check-ins. Practicing the conversation ahead of time, or even writing it down, can help reduce anxiety and keep your message clear.

It's also important to remember that advocating for your mental health is not asking for special treatment—it's protecting your ability to function well at work. Mental health directly affects concentration, communication, and resilience. When you speak up thoughtfully, you're not only supporting yourself; you're modeling a healthier, more sustainable way of working.

To be able to make a request and have your best chance at being well received, it's important to fully own and connect to your need. For example, let's say you're thinking about asking for a longer lunch break so that you can go home to walk your dog and eat your lunch, which would remove a sense of pressure and anxiety about making sure your kids come home right after school to walk the dog. If you don't own the need fully, you might be shy to ask for a full hour more of lunch break. When the conversation happens with your boss, you might cloud your actual need with platitudes about working longer, getting all your tasks done, and compromising for only half an hour extra before even getting any pushback from your boss.

Even if things go well and your boss gives you the extra half hour, they won't have seen that your true need was an hour more, not half an hour. When you start rushing out of work and coming back stressed out because you didn't have enough time, then all your boss sees is that they gave you more time and you're still stressed out. Everyone loses, and your boss loses trust in you, making future requests less appealing for them to give you.

If you can connect to your true need and show up to the conversation with a clear ask like: "I would like an hour more of lunch break so I can walk my dog and not worry if my kids will do it later. This will improve my focus and enjoy my work more, as my mind won't be anxiously worried about my dog." If your boss says "no, but you can have half an hour extra," it will be easier for you to recognize that this is just the beginning of a negotiation. It will also be easier to reply with "I really need an hour, otherwise I'll be replacing anxiety over the dog with anxiety about making it back to work on time. What other solutions can we find?" By not settling for a compromise that won't actually help you, when you do finally get your need met, your boss will see the effects and be able to trust you more in the future.

It may be that in exploring your need, you realize it wasn't the extra hour of lunch break you needed, but rather that you have a few days to work from home. By becoming clear in your need, you become clear in your communication.

One tip I would give someone who is hesitant to speak up for their mental health needs in the workplace would be to remember that you are protected.

Hesitation to speak up is often based in fear... fear of feeling or appearing weak or inadequate in the workplace, fear of losing respect, even fear of losing livelihood. There are laws in place so that you can confidently advocate for yourself without fear of repercussion. You have the right to fair treatment, anti-discrimination, and reasonable accommodations, and truly, if you have these basic needs in place, your employer will benefit directly. A mental health professional can help walk you through your work safeguards.

Treat mental health requests like any workflow optimization: measured, tested, and iterated. That framing reduces defensiveness and makes conversations more tactical than emotional. If you're overwhelmed, say "I need to adjust scope to deliver well." Clear language improves outcomes more than internal martyrdom ever will.

If hesitant, talk to someone outside your chain of command initially. Peer support gives perspective before escalating requests to decision makers directly. When the system feels unsafe, relationships offer essential buffer and clarity. No one wins when emotional strain becomes silent standard operating procedure.

Use supervision wisely by bringing up compassion fatigue and personal stressors early, so the support you need is addressed. If you are hesitant to speak up, treat the conversation as part of your self-care routine.