Bryan Scott McMillan, a veteran of the medical device industry with over three decades of experience, has discovered that the most profound leadership lesson came not from the boardroom but from personal tragedy. After losing his wife to cancer, McMillan witnessed firsthand the pervasive impact of grief on every aspect of family life. This experience led him to volunteer with organizations like The WARM Place and Camp Sanguinity and to found Families with Holes, a nonprofit dedicated to connecting grieving families with practical support and counseling resources. Now, he is using his platform to encourage others to become part of the solution by simply showing up for those who are grieving.
“People think they need the perfect words,” McMillan said. “The families I have met rarely remember exactly what someone said. They remember who kept calling three months later. They remember who brought dinner on an ordinary Tuesday. They remember who stayed.” This insight underscores a critical gap in how society supports the bereaved. Grief is far more common than many realize. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that more than 3 million people die each year in the United States, leaving millions of spouses, children, parents, friends, and coworkers to cope with loss. Research also estimates that approximately one in twelve children will experience the death of a parent or sibling before adulthood, highlighting the widespread need for grief support.
Despite these numbers, many grieving families report feeling isolated after the first few weeks following a loss. “We rush toward people immediately after a funeral,” McMillan said. “Then life speeds back up. Grief doesn't. The hardest conversations often happen months later, after everyone else has gone back to normal.” This observation aligns with research from the CDC, which has identified social isolation and loneliness as significant public health concerns linked to higher risks of depression, heart disease, dementia, and other serious health conditions. Supportive relationships can improve emotional well-being and help people recover more effectively after major life events.
Drawing from his executive career, McMillan believes communities already have the tools needed to make a meaningful difference. “In business, we solved problems by paying attention and following through,” he said. “Helping grieving families works much the same way. Listen first. Keep your promises. Stay consistent.” Rather than asking people to become grief experts, McMillan hopes they will become dependable neighbors, friends, coworkers, and family members. “I've watched volunteers change someone's entire week by doing something as simple as driving a child to practice or dropping off groceries,” he said. “Those aren't small things to the family receiving them. They're huge.”
For HR vendors and professionals, this story carries significant implications. The workforce is not immune to grief; employees who are grieving are often navigating their loss while trying to maintain productivity and professional relationships. McMillan’s message resonates beyond personal interactions—it speaks to the broader need for compassion and consistency in leadership. “My hope isn't that everyone becomes a counselor,” McMillan said. “My hope is that more people become the kind of friend who keeps showing up. That's how stronger families and stronger communities are built.”
McMillan suggests simple actions that require no special training: call someone who has lost a loved one and ask how they are doing; mark important anniversaries and birthdays on your calendar so you remember to check in; offer one specific form of help instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything”; bring a meal or help with errands during the weeks after a funeral; invite grieving friends for a walk or coffee without expecting them to talk; listen without trying to solve every problem; support local grief centers and community organizations through volunteering; encourage children to express grief in their own way and at their own pace; continue reaching out long after everyone else has stopped; and share what you have learned so more people understand what meaningful support looks like.
McMillan believes leadership extends well beyond the workplace. Whether leading a business team or supporting a grieving neighbor, the same qualities matter most: consistency, compassion, humility, and the willingness to act. “At the end of the day,” he said, “people rarely remember your title. They remember how you treated them when life became difficult.” For HR vendors, this story underscores the importance of fostering a culture of empathy and support, both within their organizations and in the products and services they offer to clients. By integrating these principles into HR practices, companies can help build stronger, more resilient teams and communities.
